Hi Dennis,
To answer your first question, load balancing is a setting generally reserved for situations where we have to have multiple APs covering the same wireless space due to a high number of client connections. Think along the lines of an auditorium that can hold over 300 people. This allows both(or all three, depending on client demands) devices to share the load in that same space so neither becomes overwhelmed.
When using load balancing in a traditional deployment where we have one AP per room(or less) this has the unintended consequence of moving clients to an inappropriate AP, such as one that is physically distant or in your case where one AP takes on the lion's share.
I would recommend disabling the client load balancing to see if this results in more normal client load. Here is a knowledgebase article with a bit more detail on where these settings are located in Radio Profiles:
https://extremeportal.force.com/ExtrArticleDetail?an=000079293
To answer your other question, this has been moved to the "Management Options" section of network policy. You can locate this by browsing to your selected network policy, clicking the "Additional Settings" tab at the top and then finding "Management Options" on the left side. If you have not enabled customization of these settings this page will be blank until you click the "off" button to the "on" position. Here is a knowledgebase article that may help find the LED settings:
https://extremeportal.force.com/ExtrArticleDetail?an=000078565
Let us know if there is anything else we can do to help.
-Mike Coughlin